(This post has been updated to include new information in March 2022)

Whether you are an employee, a manager, or even CEO, giving and receiving feedback can be stressful.  Most of us haven’t been formally trained to give feedback. Others hold back out of fear that the receiver will see it as a personal attack or ambush.

One study found that 37 percent of managers are uncomfortable delivering feedback about their employees’ performance. Yet employees crave meaningful feedback. 65 percent say they want more feedback than they are getting, according to Forbes. This sentiment is widespread among Millennials, who grew up with digital technologies at their fingertips and value frequent feedback from managers.

In addition, the new world of virtual work calls for a fresh approach to feedback. Some companies are amending performance management processes to include continuous feedback. Setting up consistent “check-ins” and one-on-ones eliminates the lag time of traditional performance reviews and provides the transparency that today’s employees desire. Web- and mobile-based pulse survey tools can enable team members and managers to exchange insights in real-time.

While methods and techniques may change over time, I have found in my experience coaching leaders and teams that people want to feel valued, to have opportunities for career growth, and to engage in productive and meaningful conversations.

One of the most thought-provoking articles that I have read on this topic is written by Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall and appears as a cover story in the Harvard Business Review.  The article, entitled “The Feedback Fallacy”, asserts that many of our beliefs about feedback, and the current focus on radical candor in the workplace, can hinder learning and development.

This posting does not address every detail of Buckingham and Goodall’s article, and I encourage you to check it out. The article explores some misperceptions about feedback and presents tools to cultivate a healthy feedback culture.

Three feedback myths

Myth 1: The Source of Truth

It is undeniable that humans are unreliable raters of other humans. Our evaluations are colored by our own understanding of what we’re rating others on, and our inherent and unconscious biases.

The best we can do, the authors point out, is to make it clear that our feedback and reactions are subjective.  For example, instead of saying, “You need to improve your communication skills,” try, “Here’s exactly where you started to lose me.” This feedback can be valuable, as long as it does not claim to be objective or universal.

Myth 2: How We Learn

The second prevailing theory holds that feedback contains useful insights that can accelerate learning. The authors cite counter research that telling others how to think creates a threat and inhibits learning. Focusing on people’s weaknesses triggers the “fight or flight” response, shifting people into survival mode and causing them to shut down.  Buckingham and Goodall write, “Learning rests on our grasp of what we’re doing well, not on what we’re doing poorly, and certainly not on someone else’s sense of what we’re doing poorly.”

Myth 3: A Standard Model of Excellence

Another collective theory is that performance can be held up to a prefabricated model of excellence: Success is achieved when a person is given feedback on where they fall short of the model told to fill in the gaps. The authors dismantle this myth and assert that performance should not be measured against an absolute standard. Excellence looks different for everyone and is highly context-dependent. In the case of soft skills, feedback empowers the receiver to take in and adapt feedback to their personal style and circumstances.

Here are some steps leaders can take to give constructive feedback:

Look for outcomes. The authors write, “Excellence is an outcome, so take note of when a prospect responds to a sales pitch, a project runs smoothly, or an angry customer suddenly calms down.” Stop the flow of work for just a moment, turn to the team member who created the positive outcome and emphasize that what he/she did in the moment really worked: “Yes, that!”

Replay your instinctive reactions.  Describe what you experienced when your colleague’s moment of excellence caught your attention. Use phrases such as “This is how that came across for me,” or “Here’s my reaction.” This helps team members see what they did well so that they can build on these actions for future success.

Never lose sight of your highest priority interrupt. If you see someone doing something that really works, make that your high-priority interrupt. Stop him/her and the rest of the team and dissect the success. Not only will that person see and feel what success looks like within him/her, but the rest of the team can also use that information to progress.

Explore the present, past, and future. When someone approaches you to ask for help solving a problem, start with the present: What is working right now? This prompts the person to think about new solutions. Next, go to the past, when a similar problem presented itself: What did you do that worked? Finally, turn to the future: What do you already know you need to do? Try to move from the whys to the whats. This helps make the conversation more concrete.

Most importantly, effective feedback — both giving it and receiving it – is grounded in authentic communication and trust. Feedback sessions, when conducted with empathy and awareness, are one of the most powerful tools leaders have at their disposal to influence team members’ growth, morale, and performance.

To learn more about The Propel Consulting Group, contact us now.

References:

Cleys, Kevin, and Katie Towery.  “Will the Great Resignation Signal an End to the Annual Performance Evaluations?” HR Professionals Magazine, 9 Dec. 2021, https://hrprofessionalsmagazine.com/2021/12/09/will-the-great-resignation-signal-an-end-to-the-annual-performance-evaluations/

Michael, Jody. “Six Strategies to Deliver Effective Employee Feedback.” Jody Michael Associates, https://www.jodymichael.com/blog/effective-employee-feedback/

Myers, Karen K., and Kamyab Sadaghiani. “Millennials in the Workplace: A Communication Perspective on Millennials’ Organizational Relationships and Performance.” Journal of Business and Psychology, 5 Mar. 2010, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2868990/